Megan at the Mall
I had to write about this aptly titled Megan at the Mall comic in today’s Sunday Styles because it pretty much sums up every shopping experience I had with my mother between 1986-1991. Except in real life the Snotty Underminer Girl headed straight for the full-priced rack of Outback Red 10-button Shirts (a shout out to all you fine Ladies from the 80s…Frankie Say Wha–?) and bought like, five of them to layer on top each other in a way that all the labels still showed.
The rest of the article doesn’t really reflect my adolescent shopping habits because my mother NEVER* paid full price for my clothes (we shopped at Marshalls and I will be totally up front in saying that I still occasionally do, though I get most of my fancy “bargain” clothes via bluefly) where I could scavenge the racks for misshapen Irregular ESPRIT sweaters in unappealing colors like puce. This was a practice I highly resented at the time but now appreciate because it endowed me with a certain frugality that comes in handy when–oh, I don’t know–capitalism is collapsing.
*This is not totally true. My mother paid full price for an outfit once. ONCE. It was My First Middle School Dance Outfit and because it was the only time my mother paid full price I remember every detail: It was an ESPRIT sweatshirt/leggings combo in a pale yellow. The sweatshirt had a charcoal gray geometric print and a mock turtleneck and was just long enough to cover my butt. The leggings had a seam running down the front and stirrups at the bottoms.
Alas, despite my full-priced sartorial flair, no cute boys asked me to slow dance and I spent most of the night sulking by the refreshments table then crying in the bathroom, thus establishing the pattern of behavior for all future middle school dances until I had the sense to stop going.
