January 10th, 1989
D.D.
Man, I look like shit today. Funny thing, people are saying I look good. I wonder if that’s just like an “Ohifeelsorryforyoupooruglypeople” reflex or whatever. I’ve got a zit with a personality of its own on my nose. Actually, I’ll tell you exactly where it is.
You know that crease on the outer rim of the nostril? Well, it starts there on the upper left side and then SPREADS. It SPREADS beyond the border of the nose and hits upper-cheek, lower-eye territories. It SPREADS says, “Hello everybody!” to passers-by.
I was in such a mood last night. I’m afraid of not succeeding anymore. I think it was brought on by the fact that I’m doing so bad athletically. That doesn’t sound too deep now does it? I wrote about all my anxiety last night to T.J. and I don’t feel like repeating it here for the sake of posterity. That’s the trouble with being such a BRILLIANT letter writer, my best stuff goes to other people. T.J. has all my best writings. Nothing in my journal at home or at school can compare, because when you’re writing to someone you’ve got an audience. You know someone else will get something out of it.
Notice how I used “you’re,” “you’ve,” and “you” when I could have easily used the first person. Why I do that, I don’t know. Maybe I hope to (subconsciously of course) to set myself apart from all of YOU. Or maybe (probably) I’m just using improper English because I’m an idiot.
M.
